Apr
15
2010

  World Domination Through Thought-Waves

I figured out how to create alpha waves with my brain today! This is extremely exciting for me.

We did three sets at my neurofeedback session today. I think I was in the 2nd set when I finally figured out the secret of the chimes. The chimes sound like wind chimes, and according to J every different tone signifies a good type of brain wave. But I finally noticed that one chime sound was a little bit different than the others. It sounded like a chime AND a bell at the same time. It's a subtle difference, but definitely perceptible. I intuited that since this was an alpha-wave protocol, I probably got the special chime when I made alpha waves.

So I tried to control it.

And I did.

I get this nicotine-buzz sort of feeling when my brain is producing alpha waves, so once I figured out that was the way to get the special bell, I tried to get that feeling on purpose. I thought about pushing that feeling throughout my body, from my brain right out to my fingertips and toes, and when I managed it, the machine made the special bell sound!

Well, I am just so proud of myself for controlling my own brain waves. Most people do it unconsciously, and if their brainwaves aren't messed up (er, I mean inefficient) to begin with, then they never have need to control them. The brain manages itself naturally.

But to have conscious control over one's brain waves, well, as far as I'm concerned, I'm entering the territory of psychics and stuff. My therapist was so impressed, she showed me the brainwave chart today. Next time I'll get set up so I can go even farther into alpha (I wasn't physically comfortable enough today to go further).

During the car ride home, my imagination ran away with me. Imagine if I could call up any particular brainwave state at will. Including the pattern to tap into the collective consciousness. That's where out-of-body experiences can happen, and where you can use your mind to influence events.

Of course, my first thought was to world domination. If I could tap into the collective consciousness and control that, how much competition would I have? A couple hundred gurus around the world? I could bend nations to my will. Bwah-ha-ha-haaaaa.

But then another part of my consciousness thought perhaps I was getting a little bit ahead of myself, and I realized that the first order of business would be merely to work my thought-control on Terry and William. Imagine, a baby who fell asleep whenever I thought him to! A husband who called the babysitter so he could take me out to dinner because I forced my own desires into his mind! Who needs world domination when you could have a compliant household?

I am not going to share this with J, lest she slow down our progress. Although I did check out a book from the library about brainwaves. So when she's done with our original plan of getting my brain to function more like someone who can keep up with the laundry and do the dishes and not burst into tears over nothing (and all without relying on pharmaceutical treatment!), I'll figure out how to guide her to train my brain for thought-control. I'll have to figure out another way to put it. Perhaps the thought-control wavelengths have other more benign functions that I could profess to want to develop.

I did mention to J that I kept a blog, and she said she'd read it, but I'm counting on the fact that she won't bother. Or at least won't bother to read this particular post, so my secret is probably safe.