Jun
09
2011

  Nothing Overnight

Last night and evening passed uneventfully, and I have no contractions this morning. B2 is still wiggling around in there, so he seems to be fine. I am wondering if I will actually still be pregnant for the next scheduled midwives appointment on Monday morning.

I was looking at the calendar, and if I make it to Saturday the 11th, then W and b2 will have the same birth date, exactly two months apart. That would at least make it easier for me to remember them both. I'm pretty bad at remembering birthdays. I was always having to look up T's on my calendar until we'd been married about 10 years. I finally have it memorized. Except when I doubt my memory and still have to look it up to double-check. . . Good thing neither of us makes a big deal about birthdays, they're very low-key events in our household.

I find it surprising how quickly my mood toward the impending birth changes. One minute I am impatient and wondering, "why me?" and wishing I could be one of those women who delivered at 37 weeks. But the next minute I will be the paragon of patience, feeling no pressure whatsoever, and feeling very settled-in to the pregnancy.

Luckily for me, mostly I'm pretty patient about it. Although as time goes on I am more and more getting the feeling that maybe the pregnancy is running long since it will be my last. Perhaps this is in God's plan, giving me another month of gestation so I can fully appreciate this pregnancy and enjoy it, since there won't be another in this lifetime. It's more of a bittersweet feeling than sad.

The same as these past few days with W. I cried when I put him to bed the other night, thinking that it could be the last night where he is my only child, the only focus of my parental attention. I'll miss these years with just him. Again, though, I feel fortunate that these thoughts are less prevalent than the times I happily anticipate having a larger family. Most of the time I am really looking forward to having two babes with me all day. I think W will be a great big brother, and I really do get giddy at times imagining two bundles of cuteness bouncing around the house like random molecules.

It's going to be another hot day-- I'll try to get out of here in the morning with W and do some shopping to distract myself, then come home to rest in the afternoon.