Increased Netflix & Library Books Working Out

I'm glad I went ahead and increased our Netflix subscription. With three DVDs out at a time, we generally have at least one at home (if not more) while others are in transit. T has been more interested in watching movies lately, since I've had more titles to entice him with.

But it's still not enough to get me through the day, since I pretty much only want to watch TV or movies at night. This is mostly out of habit (we don't watch daytime TV) but also because I don't have a perfect black-out situation over the windows in the upstairs lounge, so the image just looks better after dark.

During the day (and evenings I don't watch TV or movies, still amounting to several days per week) I've been reading books. I've been reading quite a bit. In the past few days I finished both library books I had checked out (Lost in the Meritocracy by Kirn and The Maples Stories by Updike) and also Larsson's The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. It's difficult to use my laptop while nursing, but I can read. It's easier to read on the Kindle using just one hand, but I've just finished a slew of books on there and am running out of free content. Well, it's more like the free content I have is all authors from the past and I'd like to take a break from the historical works to read some more modern stuff, but am too cheap to pay $10+ per book when I can get them free from the library.

The reason I'm reading so much is that I've got a lot of time to do it. It takes M about 20-40 minutes to nurse (it's really variable, his appetite seems to wax and wane), and during this time I read. He's up for about an hour after that, during which time I sometimes do things around the house so he's not just sitting in the same room all day. Then when he naps, I'm usually reading again, for about an hour or more at a stretch. Then it's time for him to eat again, and the cycle repeats.

My fatigue has continued. Although I'm still taking excursions (I took both boys to church on Sunday by myself, which was a successful trip), I'm now repairing directly to bed afterwards to rest. This afternoon T and I ran a few errands around Crozet with M in tow (W stayed home with MA). I was in bed the rest of the day, but am nevertheless tired. I now think it's the interrupted sleep overnight that is really what is getting to me.

This is one thing that I am sure would be easier if I had these babies when I was in my 20s. I used to be able to stay up until 2am and still pop into work by 8:30am the next morning and be just fine. I used to be able to stay out drinking until 3-4 am and still be functioning the next day (if not exactly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed). But the ability to stay out drinking started to wane in my mid-thirties, and after that I started losing the ability to function with less sleep even when no drinking is involved. When T & I were working long hours to sell AFS, we could basically put in 12-hour days, from 10am to 10pm. We could not work long hours into the night like we could when we first married and sold the company the first time.

So while I know it's not easy waking up to care for an infant at any age, I do suspect it's a little more difficult to cope at an advanced maternal age.

But at least this time around, I'm better prepared for it than I was with W. I know what to do, I know what to expect, and I know it won't last forever. If I recall correctly from 2 years ago, the first two to three months are the worst. After that it should get easier. Until it gets easier, this time I'm prepared to not do a @### thing except nurse and otherwise take care of little baby Max. I think this is the best way to ensure that I at least enjoy taking care of M during this time, rather than being so exhausted and overwhelmed that I enjoy neither the housework or whatever I'd be doing nor taking care of the baby. Which would be a shame, since he's such a darling little baby.

I do manage to feed my family lunch & dinner, but I've got so much prepared food (or partially prepared food, or easy-to-prepare food) stocked up in my pantry and freezer (I got a lot of help from my mother-- she's brought many days worth of food for us with each visit!) that I can have dinner on the table in under 30 minutes, so it's no real strain. T has been cooking most breakfasts, his specialty.

M is asleep now, and W is on his way to bed. T has already informed me he doesn't want to watch the film Valentine's Day, so now I get to decide if I watch that tonight or save it for tomorrow night (Wed & Thurs I watch TV). If I don't watch the film, I've got a John Le Carre novel to tuck into-- Single & Single. I figured I'd read another thriller since I've got to wait for the second book of the Larsson trilogy to come up on hold at the library before I can move on to that. . .