One Month of New Baby

Max is one month old today, so I have been sitting at home nursing a baby 24 hours a day for an entire month now. Coincidentally, today was the first day I wandered into T's studio and lamented that I was bored.

On the plus side, M is getting himself into a more regular routine where he wakes, eats, stays up for a while, then sleeps. On the minus side, it boggles my mind how quickly he goes through the cycles. It's not like I'm feeding him every 45 minutes or anything, he's going through appropriate 2.5 - 3.5 hour cycles during the day; but it takes me maybe 15 -20 minutes to get him to sleep, and he'll sleep from one to two hours (from the time I start him to nap), and I'll maybe play a few games of solitaire or something to relax or read a bit of a book, or even make a new diaper or diaper cover during that time. But it still seems that as soon as I notice he's stirring again and my initial reaction is to pat him down so he falls back asleep, but when I look at the clock I see that it's actually usually about time to feed him again and re-start the cycle.

T is no longer bringing me meals in bed (well, I still rate breakfast in bed if whatever he's made is not too messy to eat up here), so I eat at the table more often now. I try to put M in the stroller while I eat, but that doesn't work all the time since sometimes he just wants to be held. But I just can't deal with holding him with one hand and eating with the other. Come on, I'm used to scarfing down food in the shortest amount of time possible already, at least let me do this with two hands. But M is so used to me at the exclusion of anyone else, that he doesn't always cotton to being held by T, either, so even though I'm not holding a baby when I eat, I'm still subjected to his screams. And to make matters worse, W's screams also, since anytime T holds Max, W starts crying, "No no no no Daddy all done Max. ALL DONE!" W doesn't mind at all when I'm holding M, but flips out if he loses one shred of T's full attention.

I think I'm still going through a bit of post-partum depression, but it's less than last week, I think. If I feel a bit of blues coming on, I just try to get some skin-to-skin contact with the baby (which is supposed to help alleviate the baby blues). It really does work. I can just forget about whatever is bothering me at the moment and revel in the sweetness of having a little baby on me. It certainly helps that M is such a sweet little baby. He's crying more than he did the first several weeks, but it's still not as much as W.

Max is showing signs of not being nearly as serious as W was, either. I didn't think babies were supposed to smile this early, but M certainly gives the appearance of smiling a lot (and although he does look like he's smiling when he needs to burp, he "smiles" at other times, too, which is on what I'm basing this observation). W was such a SERIOUS little guy until close to his 2nd birthday. I'm hopeful M will be a bit lighter from earlier on. Although I can't say I blame W, given his earliest experiences out of the womb, that would be enough to traumatize anyone.