Oct
26
2012

  I Fell Into The Dishwasher

I debated whether to admit this on the Internet, but decided that I don't care if people know how much of a spaz that I am. Although I am NOT mentioning this on facebook. I needn't bring my foibles to the attention of casual acquaintances I haven't seen since high school. If they really care, they will see it here.

So back to the story of how I fell into the dishwasher. I was clearing the dishes after dinner in 6" platform heels. I have been wearing these shoes every day while cooking dinner in order to soften them up a bit before a wedding I'm attending tomorrow night. Tonight they were becoming comfortable enough that I wore them right through and after dinner, too. Ordinarily when I'd be out in heels, I'd be wearing a dress, and would never bend over from the waist, I'd just squat if I needed to pick something up. But since I was wearing cargo pants tonight, I thought nothing of bending over to align something on the bottom rack of the dishwasher. It was fully loaded, so I was leaning way over to adjust the angle of a pan or something on the far side.

When all of a sudden, I was no longer standing, but splayed out fully atop the entire bottom rack of dishes. Max burst out crying but was unhurt, just scared by the commotion, and the crash was pretty loud. T ran in to see what happened, and pulled me up. It's a good thing we don't put knives face-up on the bottom rack! Although we take that precaution so no CHILDREN will accidentally fall on them tripping over the dishwasher. I didn't trip. I'm pretty sure what happened was that my center of gravity got skewed too far forward, with my feet pitched several inches up off the ground and then leaning over to the far side of the dish rack.

No dishes broke, but the whole unit got pulled out from the counter a bit, and one wheel on the bottom rack is bent all out of alignment. I was able to shove the dishwasher back into place, but I'll need to use a tool to fix the wheel once the dishes are done and I can take the rack out to work on it.

I couldn't help but recall the recent episode of "New Girl" we watched last night. When CeCe told Jess, "you make it look much harder than it actually is," referring to modeling and walking around in high heels.

I have been spending this week breaking in the shoes not only so my feet won't hurt, but also so I could give T no reason to object to me wearing heels. He hates it when I wobble around, and I wobble mostly when my feet hurt. Falling headlong into the dishwasher did not help my case. In fact, I predict that T will throw a prolonged fit if I put my sparkly new shoes on for the party tomorrow night. So I will have to dig deep in my closet and try on shoes until I find something else that fits. And if I come up empty, I will just have to brace myself for the tongue-lashing I will get from T. And tomorrow night remember to not bend over under any circumstances. If I drop something, I'll just have to bat my eyelashes and ask T it pick it up for me.

And I am thankful that my dress has short sleeves, since I can feel a massive bruise coming on where I landed on a pot.

T told me there are many women my age who no longer wear heels at all. I told him that there are also many women my age who wear sweat clothes all day and have given up, and I do NOT intend to give up. It is my destiny to be thin and elegant again in this lifetime. I am not going to be deterred by any minor indignities I face while on the long and difficult march to fulfill my destiny. No matter how ridiculous the indignity.