Nov
20
2008

  Oh Yeah, By The Way. . .

As you can see from my newly-installed home page ticker, Terry and I are expecting our first child in April of 2009!

We kept it to ourselves for a while, and only told most of our family members last month, and also our closest friends. Terry and I liked having such a big secret from the rest of the world, it was a very pair-bonding sort of thing. Also, it took awhile for us to really believe it!

We have been trying to conceive since soon after we were married in April 2000. Until this year, I've never once even had a late period. And this is despite seeing numerous specialists, taking various fertility drugs, having surgery to remove a polyp from my uterus, having my tubes cleaned, and basically surviving years of heartache where every month, month after month, my hope of being a mother was dashed again and again. I try not to talk about it too much, but at one point I was so depressed I could barely leave the apartment since I would burst into tears at the sight of a mother with her child on the street (and in NYC, this wasn't quite as avoidable as it is here on the farm). After years of therapy, I finally got over it about the time we bought the place in Virginia.

My infertility was always undiagnosed, so the doctors would just scratch their heads and say they couldn't find a specific defect that would prevent me from being pregnant, it was just one of those things. Although my hormones have never been quite right, I even went through a year of hot flashes and no one ever figured out what was causing that. Of course I heard from everyone and their cousin their story of the woman who thought she could never have kids, but eventually did. I figured my story would probably be something like, "and they thought they would never have children, so they sold their farm with the big house and moved to a one-bedroom apartment overlooking Central Park, and the day after they had sold all their furniture and moved into the minimalist space, they found out she was pregnant."

Fortunately, the timing hasn't been that ironic. The only thing is that we found out I was pregnant the month after our health insurance ran out since Terry quit his job. But it's not a big deal since we are able to use COBRA, it's just wildly expensive. We had planned on getting private insurance in VA for self-employed people, but soon discovered that no one will issue a plan that includes a pregnant woman. So we're stuck with the COBRA until after the birth. I called UVA Hospital to find out what an emergency c-section would cost without insurance, and the answer was in the neighborhood of $20,000 including all the doctor fees. Yikes. So we're paying the high COBRA, just in case.

Although I would have probably been happy not telling anyone, and just showing up with an infant one day, I'm finally starting to show a bit. I can still look inconspicuous in certain outfits, but in some outfits it's really obvious. I haven't told most of my friends in Cville, since I don't see them that often, just a few times per month, and not the past few months since I've been out of town, first in NJ then Anguilla. Eventually, I'll put the news on facebook, but for now it's just on my website here. I figure the people who are really interested in my life will read my website, and if they don't, well then, they'll just have to keep on speculating, wondering if I'm just getting really fat, or if I'm pregnant.

If any of my faithful readers wants to know more about my pregnancy, leave a comment here so I know. Otherwise I'm going to assume that the details are as dull to you as everyone else's pregnancy symptoms were to me, and I won't bother posting about it. Although I must admit since I found out I was pregnant, I was somewhat more curious about how my friends' pregnancies were going, and I suspect my questions may have already fueled their suspicions that I was not merely getting fat from eating too many cookies.