Nov
25
2008

  Quickening

I've been impatient to feel my baby moving, and while we were on vacation I read about some woman who couldn't feel anything but when she put a remote control on her belly she could see it move from time to time and so saw the effects of her baby moving even though she couldn't feel it. So I tried that, but the movements were rather inconclusive, in my opinion.

And I have felt what *might* have been the baby for several weeks now. Things like a kind of rumble as if my stomach was growling but not in my stomach, little bubbly feelings that might have just been gas, all the usual descriptions. But since I have no experience with this, I just didn't know if it was the baby moving or just some digestive issue. I got tired trying to figure it out so just decided to wait until I felt something that I could be sure was a baby movement and not possibly something else.

I finally had that feeling on Saturday, when I was 20 weeks and 1 day along. I felt a bit of an internal flippery movement when I was at the football game and thought that was probably the baby, but I was distracted and didn't focus on it. But later, when I was at home and relaxing on the sofa, I felt something similar. But rather than a flipping feeling like the afternoon, it felt more like I was being tickled from the inside. It didn't feel like anything that I could possibly attribute to digestion, and I immediately had the thought, "oh, that must be the baby." So I'm counting Saturday as the "official" date of my quickening, even if possibly I noticed some movements earlier, since it was only two days ago that I was sure.

On the one hand, I'm rather impatient to just get on with having the baby already, I've been waiting over eight years. On the other hand, it's not like I've got a nursery all set up and everything in my life is in order and all I have to do is wait. I've got plenty to do to get ready. But knowing I've still got over four months before I *really* need to be ready, I'm so not motivated.

And really, there's not much I *have* to do, is there? Buy some diapers, I already have a few onesies. I've got a cradle, and although I haven't cut the foam to size for a mattress or made sheets to fit, whatever, that won't take long. Since I'm going to have the baby at home I don't even need a carseat. Breastfeeding doesn't require anything I haven't got handy. That's about it for the first few weeks, as far as I can tell. Anything else is just make-work. I am making a quilt, and I would like to put a fresh coat of paint in the guest bedroom (which will eventually be the nursery, but I imagine I'll keep the baby in my room for at least a few weeks after the birth). I'd like to get the master bedroom painted and new furniture delivered (or furniture from the NJ apartment, mostly), but it's hardly necessary. We've lived with the hideous stenciled leaves on the wall for five years already, so we're obviously in no rush to correct the situation.

I do however, want to get the Halloween decorations put away before the baby is born (yes, just yesterday I had moved the goal to getting them put away before Advent, but the longer I delay, the more insurmountable the task seems to me). I might need to enlist Terry to help me. It's the sort of thing I used to hire an ADD coach to help me with, but now that Terry's not working he said he'd rather save the money and help me himself. If I haven't managed to get them down by now, it's been nearly a month, I obviously need assistance. I don't know why exactly I can't get certain things done, but I can't, and I'm still learning how to cope with it.