Baby, Baby, Baby

I had a wonderful time at my NYC baby shower! Randi organized a brunch for me out at Mesa Grill, and six of us spent a pleasant afternoon catching up and talking baby. Half the women have kids already, half do not (I'm counting myself in the "do not" category). I'm grateful for all the advice from the experienced moms.

I wonder if my reluctance to get any baby things earlier is related to the reluctance I felt to even acknowledge that I was pregnant. Because seeing the piles of baby stuff starting to fill up the apartment is making it seem more and more like there is going to be a baby here. Does that make sense?

On one hand, I don't particularly want baby stuff around the house. I have a hard enough time keeping my own stuff put away, the last thing I need is a bunch of baby stuff to take care of. On the other hand, I want to "stimulate" my baby and read to it and have toys for it to look at and do all that stuff that good parents do.

It does seem like it will be very compelling, taking care of a baby. I like babies. Mostly before they start crawling around, though. Fortunately, Terry likes kids of all ages AFTER they start moving around, so between us we've got it covered. Conveniently with me having the much shorter duration of primary responsibility.

Hmm, I don't think I'm expressing well just how having all these baby things around is affecting me. I'm sitting here minding my own business, minding my little blog, updating my facebook, planning my day tomorrow, but I keep casting sidelong glances to the pile of baby books in the nearby corner. And curious about the new car-ramp toy still in its box. And wondering how all the adorable little clothes are going to look folded neatly in a dresser.

I think it's mostly the books. I've got clothes, toys (although I lean more towards electronics for myself), and blankets of my own. And I've had baby toys in the house for several years, since I keep some in the closet for birthday-party emergencies for when I don't have time (or forget) to shop for one of my nieces or nephews. But I've never had occasion to have baby books. And one of the first things I notice about a home when I visit women with kids, is that they've always got a shelf or basket or pile of baby books somewhere in the living room usually. But I never did, I had only adult books, and all in the bookshelf in the parlor. Now I'm sitting in an apartment with a pile of baby books in the living room. Randi gave me a bunch that her son outgrew, and some even have scribbles on them, all authentic like would be in an ACTUAL house, not just in the pottery barn catalog photo-shoot nursery. If someone walked into this apartment, they might actually think that a child lives here. And that I'm a mom. It's just a bit strange for me, although I know it shouldn't be.

"Mom" sounds so suburban to me, I'm eschewing it and going by "mama". Terry thinks it's ridiculous, but I just feel like more of a mama than a mom. And what mama wants, mama's gonna get. I think part of it is that it's way too easy for kids to whine, "mommeeeee" and that even if they draw out the "aaaaaa" sound at the end of mama it's way less irritating to me than the whiny long "eee" of mommy. Besides, I'm kind of hardcore, having the baby at home, etc. it seems like more of a mama perspective. I picture a "mom" going to the hospital, don't you?

Eh, I'm tired. I've been sleeping under baby blankets for several days since I've moved from the bed to our fatboys. The baby blankets are really soft, why don't adult blankets come that soft? The beanbags are actually more comfortable for me than the bed since they conform to my shape and make a little well for me to sleep in, and it's easier for me to roll from one side to the other than when I was in the bed. I'm bringing one back to VA, even though we're leaving the other furniture here.

The weather was pretty nice today for NYC, I wasn't too cold in just a short dress, boots, and my cape. I hope tomorrow holds out as well, since we've got a number of things we've got to do in the city, and I think we're going to take public transport in so there will be walking involved. I haven't decided if I'll wear my boots or if I'll wear a less-cute outfit with black sneakers. Decisions, decisions.